Call 911. Or not


After much sobbing and panicked hyperventilating, a woman on a boat out in Puget Sound called the cops to turn in some frisky whales, The Oregonian reports (

“Yeah, I’m out in Puget Sound,” the distraught woman told 911, “and there’s three gray whales right underneath our boat. I’m afraid we might get flipped over. I’m really scared.” Screenshots from Darren Lucianna’s video are shown.

“Stupid whales!” another passenger wailed. “They’re going to kill us!”

The one voice of reason in the mayhem — who aptly noted, “Look at this guys, you’ll never see this again!” — was completely ignored. Eventually, someone thought to turn on the motor and scoot out of there.

So what were those “stupid whales” doing swimming around in Puget Sound like that, anyway? Just as if they belonged there, or something. What a colossal nerve, right?

Elleda Wilson is an editorial assistant for The Astorian and author of the award-winning In One Ear community column. Contact her at 971-704-1718 or