"As you may be aware, there has been a full-size skeleton hanging below the glass floor inset by our fireplace for about four years," Tony Kischner, owner of Astoria's Bridgewater Bistro, wrote.
"I purchased it on Amazon for Halloween, and hung it myself from below the building, which requires a very low tide and a very tall ladder," he explained. Everyone enjoyed it so much, he just left it there.
"About a year later, and feeling brave, I thought it would be fun to add a sign on the beam from which the skeleton hung that said, 'I didn't tip my server.'
"It got a lot of laughs, but after a few negative guest comments, I replaced it with another sign that read 'I was Shanghaied in Astoria,' which I thought at least advanced Astoria's historical heritage.
"All was well until a couple of weeks ago, when … the skeleton went missing. When one of my staff people pointed out it was gone, I assumed the rope it was hanging from had rotted and broken." But nope, not so, the sign was gone too.
"Whodunnit?" he asks. "Was it actually shanghaied? Could it just be a prank? A disgruntled employee? I have no idea, but I would love to find out, and I'm even willing to offer a free meal for any credible information that leads me to a) my beloved skeleton, or b) the culprit.
"I have already had many regular customers, and especially, their kids, who have been appalled to come in and see no skeleton, so I will have to replace it as soon as I find someone — other than me — willing to climb up that ladder."
Anyone know where Mr. Bones is? Call Tony at 503-325-6777 if you know where he's hanging around.